The Return to Sexual Holiness

An Excerpt from The End of Sexual Identity

by Jenell Williams Paris

Centering holiness in both the person of Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit is the path of costly discipleship, as Dietrich Bonhoeffer described: “Grace is costly because it compels a man to submit to the yoke of Christ and follow him; it is grace because Jesus says: ‘My yoke is easy and my burden is light’”8 Costly discipleship avoids, on the one hand, cheap grace that permits moral excess, and on the other hand, rigid moralism that occludes mercy and joy.

3. Development and End. The “end” of a holy life is to be like Christ. When it comes to sexual holiness, however, the end is often misperceived as a life station (heterosexual marriage) instead of a quality of life (Christlikeness). For some, marriage is not a viable or even a desirable state. And for some, the same is true of heterosexuality.

The “end” of life is to be holy, but the development of holiness never ends. It’s just as important, therefore, to emphasize Christ-likeness in the development of a spiritual life, not just as the end. It can be tempting to judge a person’s present state in terms of an ideal future state, which isn’t right; in fact, it’s haughty. Sober judgment allows room for each person to develop over time, and for others to understand that person’s current context, history and future hopes.

On the corporate level, it’s important to encourage the development of institutions and traditions. As its failure to protect children from priests’ abuse is exposed, the Roman Catholic Church today, for example, is hopefully developing institutional holiness— policies and processes that protect vulnerable people. For Protestants, it seems that even when groups who disagree—like Lutherans and Anglicans over homosexuality—succeed in securing the “end,” or the theological position, they desire, the process itself too often compromises Christian unity and mutual respect. Christians in societies that rely on sexual identity social constructs tend to read those constructs back into Scripture, and this has ramifications for both personal and corporate dimensions of life. It can seem as though there are just five or six passages directed at homosexuals (portions of Leviticus 18 and 20; Romans 1; 1 Corinthians 6; 1 Timothy 1 and a few others), and that the Bible’s primary message to those with same-sex sexuality is that they are abominable sinners. Even those who affirm same-sex sexuality sometimes focus on reinterpreting these passages to the exclusion of broader biblical themes about human identity, sexuality and family. On a corporate level, this leads to institutions using theological positions on homosexuality as boundary markers for membership or even salvation, or as indicators of other beliefs about the Bible, Jesus, morality or politics.?

4. Crisis and process. Salvation is described by some in crisis terms: at a low point in life, a person received Christ and received instantaneous transformation. Others describe it as a process, perhaps not remembering a single moment of receiving Christ; since birth or early childhood, their life with God has been unfolding.

With respect to stewardship of our sexual lives, some elements of sexuality may change instantaneously through religious experiences such as prayer, or through effort of the will, or through life changes such as marriage. Other times, change happens more slowly as part of an embedded process. After sexual trauma such as assault, for instance, a person may find healing in their emotions, which links to their relationships, which links to behaviors, thoughts and feelings. Still other times, sexuality doesn’t change much at all.

Similarly, on a corporate level a church or Christian community may announce a new, large-scale turn of direction, a “crisis” of sorts. People could begin supporting sexual justice for those involved in global sex trafficking, for instance, or launch a new commitment to local service. That same church or community, however, may have informal social norms that make celibate people feel second-class. Changing patterns of communication, socializing and perceiving each other can be an incremental process. As with individuals, holiness develops simultaneously as crisis and process in institutions.

5. Blessing and suffering. Loving Jesus means receiving many blessings, but also sharing in Christ’s sufferings. Some Christians use the sexual identity framework to argue that heterosexuals are blessed, and homosexuals (and all other non-heterosexuals) are suffering (and if they seem to be happy or thriving, they’re really suffering deep down inside). Others use the same framework with a different interpretation, believing that both heterosexuals and homosexuals (and all other sexual identities) are blessed. The suffering that occurs in one’s sexuality, then, is often attributed to societal or family disapproval. Still others seem to see all human sexuality as fraught with suffering, and are reluctant to celebrate sexuality as one of God’s good gifts.

Unpacking the groceries makes this tension abundantly clear. When sexuality is seen in all its dimensions, it is evident that, regardless of their sexual orientation or identity, many people experience both blessing and suffering over time, and perhaps even simultaneously. A person may have a strong marriage with an enjoyable sexual relationship, but be suffering in their physical sexual health. Another person may have tension or even torment about their sexual behaviors at present, but may have peace in their memories of the past and in their hopes for the future. Remembering that Jesus experienced both blessing and suffering can help remind us to expect both in our sexual lives.

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Comments

Mark Gomez

1 Thess 4:3 "For this is the will of God, your sanctification; {that is,} that you abstain from sexual immorality;..."

Wes Widner

But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. -1 Corinthians 7:2

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous -Hebrews 13:4

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. -1 Corinthians 6:18

Mary Moser

Both Mark and Wes said it well. Scripture is sufficient. This day, time, it seems to me is like those of the book of Judges, when everyone did what seemed right to himself.

Mike

This piece exposes much of the deficiency of "scholarly" writing. Rarely has so little been said with so many words. In the end, what is needed on this issue is irenic clarity, not endless nuance, qualification, and obfuscation. The question about sexual identity begs foundational questions: 1) What does the Bible teach about our value as human beings? 2) What does the Bible teach about God's holy design for our sexual expression? On both counts, the Scriptural record is fairly clear. We have immense value, having been made in the image of God. And we are to physically express our sexuality in heterosexual behaviors or to restrain such behaviors outside of monogamous man-woman marriage. Furthermore, the question must be raised: "In discussing sexual identity, who or what group is most eager to use labels of sexual identity as the primary identity markers for themselves?" The answer is revealing. It is a shame that Paris so complicates a subject wth so much confusion.

Caitie

Hi Mike,

I think it is a shame that you so flippantly disregard and insult this writer because you judge her work as deficient scholarly writing. I highly doubt this piece was written exclusively for a scholarly audience even though Jenell is a scholar; by the tone and progression of argument, it seems like she was writing for a general audience who lives with broken lives and bleeding hearts everyday.

From reading this piece, I think the two of you would agree on the principles but disagree on presentation. She writes in a very down to earth, inductive way so that followers of Jesus who live and love LGBT friends can approach this topic with care and not the typical-bible-bullying that communicates nothing but hate. Jenell meets this issue where it is at and presents a new vocabulary for engaging the ideas with the power of the same truths but in a different, less offensive way.

Long gone are the days when only quoting what the bible says about sexuality effectively communicates the Truth to confessing Christians and the rest of culture (look at the statistics for divorce, abuse, etc. We look the same as the rest of culture. The church, as a whole, as failed to hold itself accountable and, for generations, has failed to communicate a compelling sexual narrative).

If communication is for the sake of the audience's understanding (and not our own need to speak) we need to figure out how to hold ourselves and our brothers and sisters accountable for failed marriages, fornication, and sexual abuse while communicating the depths and heights of God's love and grace. Like Leslie Newbigin wrote in Foolishness to the Greeks, we need to become missionaries to our culture and learn to speak their language so that they will hear have a framework for understanding.

Mike-it seems to me that you are attacking Jenell for an attempt to do just that. Read the entirety of her book and then have these discussions with those struggling with sexual identity and see which dialect exhibits God's heart the most.

Ryan Spellecy

It seems to me that all of you make valid points. Yes, Scripture is clear about sexual immorality. Yet Caitie highlights the important point that as Christians, we still have high rates of divorce, infidelity, and so forth. The author's point about moving beyond mere sexual acts and orientation and towards sexual holiness are well taken. We as Christians need to examine our own attitudes towards sex, with an eye towards holiness, and not just "It's hetero so it is OK." Caitie is also right that the days of merely quoting Scripture to unbelievers settles the debate are long gone. What do we want to do...win an argument, or save souls for Christ? That said, I do find it difficult to reconcile some of the author's comments with Scripture. Perhaps I need to check out her book.

Cedric

more to the point the deficiency of reading comprehension is exposed when reading the comments in response to a piece of "scholarly writing".

Jenelle is only fuzzy on the issue of homosexuality if you skim over the article and not take the time to read the whole thing. She is clearly believes that homosexual behavior is a sin and falls short of the holiness standard that God has communicated in scripture.

The point that she is making and possibly isn't as clear on (which is pardonable) is that we as Christians, aren't going to get anywhere calling people who consider themselves homosexual (an increasing number of which are also claiming to be Christian) to holiness arena of their sexual lives. As long as the discussion stays firmly rooted in terms of sexual identity we will never get past the surface of what the real issue is; the contents of the grocery bag. How do you live out holiness in the areas of desire, fantasy, behaviors, relationships, memories, hopes, thoughts, health and marriage.

Moreover, if it's about encouraging people to holiness and not just about who's right and who's wrong then anytime sexual identity is brought up someone will inevitably go to the claim or question, "what if they're born that way?" Well when you discard sexual identity and deal with the contents of the bag that Jenell mentions it's not long before marriage comes up. So irregardless of whether or not someone believes they were born that way or others are born that way, they have to confront the fact that biblical holiness in marriage is strictly defined as one man one woman.

Taylor Long

I may have misread the author, but this statement from the article above seems to get at the heart of what she is trying to do:

"The world in which Christians all agree about sexual issues is an imaginary one. Love of God and neighbor, the heart of holiness, has to be practiced in the real world in the midst of these disagreements."

I fear the author may be dismissive of the magnitude of the issue of sexuality throughout human history, and perhaps blind to the pervasive selfishness and idolatry that both the church and society have bought into in the area of sex in our day.

I agree that the greatest commandment is to love God, and the second is to love your neighbor (irregardless of whether they agree with you on every (or even any) issue). However, when we are talking about striving to be faithful as a Church, especially in the area of our sexuality and how we define it (which has profound implications for individuals, churches and society as a whole), we cannot allow the fact that not all Christians agree about sexual issues to reduce this topic to an interesting talking point with no real implications for the individual or the church, so long as we are all loving and civil about the conversation (and again, I don't know if this was the author's intent). To be faithful means to be willing to critique our own beliefs, to make sacrifices, to limit ourselves in the name of loving God by doing what is right.

For those interested in what I consider to be a more helpful approach to this issue, check out Sarah Williams talk "Sexuality in the Modern Paradigm". I couldn't sleep after I listened to that talk, and it still has me reeling.

Here is the address to it: http://www.regentbookstore.com/product_details.php?item_id=75971

decarlisle

Keep the main thing the main thing. If you give any impression that homosexuality is condoned then you are in error.

Its not that we should stop them from coming to Christ but unless they truly want to repent same as someone in adultery they should be asked to leave. The Church must do its best to teach and help all in sin but we can't look at it likes it just babies nursing.

Look at what has happened to main stream Churches now they are falling away because of such practices. The interfaith movement and liberalism is not going to bring us back to Holiness but neither is the stiff necked conservative that does not have true love for his neighbor no matter what their persuasion is. I don't think anyone here wants anyone going down the wide path that leads to destruction.

Justin Czekanski

I agree that placing a label of hetero- or homosexuality is not biblical and leads to division rather than unity. On the other hand we must not forget that God has given us two options with regards to our sexuality, that is: marriage or being single.

I do not thing that if you are gay you cannot be saved, but if we want to be consistent with the Scripture - which is quite transparent when it comes to sexuality - God wanted to express unity and holiness through opposite sex marriages.

Even Jesus is called a bridegroom and the Church is called the Bride.

You, Dr. Paris, mention many misinterpretations but I thing that we have to stand firm: tolerance does not equal acceptance.

I do criticize homosexuality, but I also criticize addiction to pornography, premarital sex, etc.

Some of the supporters of the so called 'tolerance movement' would probably call me homophobic - not even understanding that the word they are using has a ridiculous meaning of : "being afraid of humans" (homo - human - as in homo sapiens; phobia - fear"

I don't want the message of Bible to be blurred by the teaching of tolerance. Sin is not wrong because some said so - it is wrong because it brings destruction and open the door for satan, who comes only to steal, kill and destroy.

But this teaching is not as easily acceptable simply because if you mention satan, in the eyes of the world you look like a weirdo. Isn't it so?

Let's just mention that sexual purity and holiness for that matter is what God desires for us not to restrain but to offer us freedom and happiness. I don't want to judge, but haven't we missed it in the church?

Ramesh

Hello, I am from India. I do not understand westerners' obsession with homosexuality. Here in India, homosexuality is banned as a "lewd and obscene act" and "harmful to public decency" under the penal code.

MCole

The Bible is not transparent when it comes to any issue and I think we border on being prideful (deadly sin) when we claim we know the answers to these questions as a certainty. Paul was also transparent when it came to slavery. Jesus seemed to be pretty transparent on the issue of divorce but why don't we hear about that issue as much. Be careful of hypocrisy.

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