My Friend Of Another Religion Doesn't Want To Become A Christian: Now What?

by Brian McLaren

2. THOU SHALT LISTEN TO THY NEIGHBOR WITH GENTLENESS AND RESPECT. INQUIRE OF HIM. LEARN HER STORY.
People of other religions have stories to tell – stories of pain, of joy, of hope, of faith, of disappointment, of searching. By taking their stories seriously, we take them seriously. How different this approach is from the approach of so much “evangelism,” that only listens in order to create obligation in “the other” to listen to our monologue. If we see the image of God in a person of another religion (as we must, if we are faithful to the Biblical narrative), then she must be taken seriously. Again, Philip does this as he joins the Ethiopian eunuch on the Gaza road (Acts 8). Peter does this as he encounters Cornelius (Acts 10-11). And of course, Jesus, who of all people could have claimed prerogative to engage in monologue, shows himself an extraordinary listener on numerous occasions.

Peter’s example is particularly instructive when compared to his direction given in his first epistle (1 Peter 3:15-17). He tells us that the questions of people who do not believe what we believe require not our critique (“You shouldn’t ask questions! Just believe!”), nor our defensive counter-argument, but first and foremost our attention and understanding, and then a loving response. Similarly, the person asking the question requires not impatience, disgust, or disdain, but rather gentleness and respect.

So when you meet a person of another religion, why not ask them some questions like these?

Tell me what it’s like to be a Muslim (or Buddhist, or Orthodox Jew, or Wiccan, etc.).
Tell me about some of your spiritual experiences as a Hindu.
What has your spiritual journey been like? Has it always been easy to believe? Have you ever struggled with doubts or disagreements?
Tell me about some of the rituals and holy days of your faith.
How would you summarize the core beliefs of your faith?
How do you think you and I can set an example of good friendship among people of differing faiths?
How does your faith integrate with your family life? Your political life? Your social and economic life?
What do you enjoy and appreciate most about being a Zoroastrian?

3. THOU SHALT APPRECIATE WHAT THY NEIGHBOR LOVES, AND LEARN WHY THY NEIGHBOR LOVES IT.
The kinds of questions and inquiries you make will open the door to seeing good things in your neighbor’s faith, things that you as a follower of God in the way of Jesus are obligated to love and appreciate as well (Phil. 4:8-9). For example, I have a friend who is an imam in a sect of Islam. He loves that his sect has never persecuted anyone, even though they have been bitterly persecuted by their fellow Muslims. This is something I honor and respect in his faith, and I often have told him so. He loves that his faith teaches respect for elders and moves people to do good works for the poor; again, I admire this about his faith too. Once he helped me understand that even things I might call rituals, rules, and regulations – things that might seem burdensome to me – are in fact things that add dignity to poor people’s lives: when rich and poor, for example, bow together toward Mecca for daily prayers, the poor feel that they are on the same level before God as the rich. In this light, I had a new appreciation for this aspect of his religion that is very different from my own.

In contrast, I remember when I wrote something sympathetic about the wearing of the veil by many Muslim women. I was harshly criticized by a Christian friend who said that the veil was only a sign of domination by men. I imagine that there is some truth in some instances to his accusation, but by listening to my Muslim friends, I learned other dimensions of this practice so I could see why so many Muslims follow it not reluctantly by coercion, but enthusiastically by choice. (Ask a Muslim about this sometime. They’ll probably tell you, from their point of view, that the way we put scantily-clad women on display to sell everything from hamburgers to pick-up trucks is far more degrading than the veil or berka. They fear that losing the veil is the first step down a slippery slope that ends up in pornography, divorce, and other standard characteristics of what they see as Western, “Christian” culture. I’m not defending their view, just trying to understand it.)

I recently sat in a window seat on a plane. Next to me in the middle seat was a woman who identified herself as a “fundamental Christian,” to which she added, “I live on a compound with other home-schooling, right-wing, Bible-believing Christians where the men work and the women stay home and have babies. I’m the poster child for the Religious Right.” She was obviously comfortable with herself. Next to her was a young man whose clothing identified him as a Hassidic Jew. They began talking about their respective faiths and I felt a sense of awe as I simply listened: here were two people with very different beliefs, asking questions of each other to understand what each loved about his or her faith. When we landed, they sincerely thanked each other for what they learned from each other, and I thanked God for both of them, for the example they set of holding firm beliefs yet being sincerely interested in, and not threatened by, others who hold, equally firmly, differing beliefs.

4. THOU SHALT BE PATIENT WITH THE FAULTS OF THY NEIGHBOR AND THY NEIGHBOR’S RELIGION, CONSIDERING THINE OWN FIRST.
Many Christians have heard stories of Christians being persecuted by Muslims, atheists, and others. But how many Christians have heard the stories of Muslims, Jews, Animists, atheists, and others being persecuted by Christians? One of the great values in learning the atrocities and failures committed by your own religion is that it helps you be more compassionate – and less judgmental – when you face the failures of other religions.

We all have a tendency to compare “our” best with “their” worst, which always makes us look good. But what would happen if we sought to see things from “their” viewpoint and began comparing our worst with their best? One of the most striking commands in the New Testament comes from Romans 15, a book that is often quoted in defense of abominable treatment of people who differ: “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God” (15:7). It parallels similar commands about forgiving one another (Colossians 3:13) and loving one another (John 13:34- 35). And if someone objects by suggesting that these verses are only addressed to Christians in their treatment of one another, I would respond by pointing out Galatians 6:10 which tells us to do good to all people, both those inside and outside our family of believers. Or perhaps even more significantly, Romans 5:6-8 which remind us that Christ loved us while we were still powerless, ungodly, and sinners.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next

Comments

lol

heres a thought;

realize that there are as many holes in your religion as any one elses, and that until there is proof that any of them are right, everyone has a right to choose their own religion. stop being an ignorant fuck and realize that all religions (even atheism theories) sound ridiculous so it's anyones right to decide which bullshit magical theory they want to believe.

Comments are now closed

ALSO BY BRIAN MCLAREN

ALSO IN GOSPEL